hey dude, i hate everything you do
but i'm trying really hard to not hate you.
hating you won't make you suck any less.

an underwhelming illusionist.

i think this sucks heaps. i'll probably change it a lot. i'ma start putting the original draft(s) into my posts when i edit things now.

draft 2 (8/4/21). -

i've toyed with being honest but it just won't compete with the nonsense i spew or all the shit that i eat.
despite my best efforts, you were never once deceived by any trap that i laid or single web that i've weaved.
its getting difficult to fall for the theatrics i stage because every trick and illusion is showing its age.
my memory's an escape artist with the way it contorts with it's delusions unraveling through psychiatry reports.

i still follow these diagrams etched deep in my hands and i again practice sticking my head into the sand. 
my mind runs in circles some dumb man on fire, that will burn out real bright like a funeral pyre.
if my head were a fleet, the ships would all sink from the holes that appear in the ways that i think
and the gaps in my logic that i always trip over or cracks that show through my total lack of composure.

my ever idle hands are some other devils plaything, some stupid marionette suspended by heartstrings. 
it's those same rusting wires that have become my garrote and make up every bullet i've caught in the back my throat
so i try to stay upright with no assistance over-head but i am too weighted down by this collection of lead. 
my inactivity is consummating my inevitable downfall, so laid my best plans to cut short the rest of life's long-haul.

draft 1 (5/4/21). -

i've toyed with being honest but it just won't compete with the nonsense i spew or all the shit that i eat.
it's difficult to fall for all the theatrics i stage, when every trick and illusion is showing its age.
despite my best efforts, you were never deceived by any trap that i lay or single web that i've weaved.
my mind runs in circles some the dumb man on fire, that will burn out real bright like a wooden funeral pyre.
if my head were a fleet, the ships would all sink flooding from holes that appear in the ways that i think