having a good whine / 1-800-suicide x gravediggaz

let's listen to your narrator track his angst everywhere like usual
delivering his final words set to the theme of a fucking musical
slitting his wrists to mark all pathways previously traveled
and hanged himself at the alamo of his innermost, personal battles
shit man, i'm my wasting my breath fucking speaking
i'm burning every single bridge i can find just to keep myself from freezing
i feel like a fucking disease, but i'm sure i'm only benign
amplifying the genes for anxiety and furthering it down the blood-line
i won't crack under the pressure, by my own intent or by error
i'll take every friendship i have and rip and tear and sever
watch me remove myself from the gene pool before i piss in the waters
trim family tree's branches before they entwine with your daughters
in fact, i'll throw down different poisons to rot away at the roots
and salt the earth to be sure none of the seeds can ever bear fruits
i'll keep beating this dead horse and pull back hard on the reigns
and use sisyphus as a personification of my emotions once again

since kendrick and earl did it, i guess therefore
it's now perfectly acceptable to write about suicide outside of horrorcore
now i'm even more insecure when writing about my inadequacies
the people who now "give a fuck", the same that used to laugh at me
since aussie rappers put their addictions to instrumentals and dropped it
mental health issues trivialized down to a trendy fucking topic
so i'll scribble down a verse in the shape of a malignant magazine
i'll cock my pain and agony and squeeze to end this tragedy
try to dismiss the petty thoughts, go for a drive to clear my head
but every single passing tree is just begging for me to be dead
and camus if you can hear me, i've got the answer to your question
it isn't whether to kill yourself, it's when to succumb to the depression
there isn't even a choice to the matter, there's no free will here
it's only whether you place the gun to the temple or behind the ear
whether to smoke yourself to death or drown in a mixture of whiskey and rum
i want to kill myself in third person because i hate what i've become