chapter IV - the clouds

chapter IV - the clouds

'i think too much and these words are my mind thinking too loudly.
the words are screaming at me from their disposable prison, gnawing at my thoughts.

everyone always tells stories of the 'hardships' of life.
overcoming adversities and troubles to reach the pinnacle of both one's mental and physical prowess.
'tragedy' is a word thrown around all to often in today's society,
'tragedy' and 'love' seem to go hand-in-hand.
words that once had meaning to many, now have meaning to few.
i guess the few who hold these virtues close are the outcasts.
holding onto portraits of the past. the paint degrading and chipping away.
the canvas below is slowly being exposed. as is human nature to cover up the nakedness of life
and to forever hide the exposure to the darkened winds.
these winds blow against my face, freezing my skin.
i'm so cold, so, so cold. one day, i will feel the warm embrace of the sun again
and maybe, i'll feel alive once again.
reanimate my sense of happiness, rekinder the flame that once burnt within.
my stone bones have become ash soaked and brittle, they're cracking.
the inferno within my chest has become a lone flickering light.
malnourished and failing, slowly burning away the remaining wick until there is nothing to burn,
only wax to melt.
so malleable yet so delicate, crafted by the years and chipped away by the seconds.
time isn't a healer, time isn't a destroyer. time is nothing but an illusion.
a standardised measurement but there is something there, however our minds choose to perceive it.
wounds, mental and physical are not healed by time.
they are healed by our bodies overcoming the trauma that has arisen
and i don't know how long it'll take before i can vanquish this melancholy from my body.
i once felt safest inside my head but now i only find darkness within.
black holes and demons dance about in a silent ballet that could last for eternity.
my mental dismay is to go on unheard,
the skies are fall above us and soon the cracks will begin to grow larger
and chunks will fall to this world and destroy us all.
i'm not sure what will happen, perhaps this is just my way of coping.
i'm lost many things today.
a friend, a parent, a loved one, an idol, a fool
but despite all of that i am thrust into the spotlight of the moon.
where i am to continue this charade and make decisions about other's lives
when i can't even answer questions that i ask myself.'