fluctuate me with the heart strings severed and fashioned into a whip
or rather braid it into rope if your preference is to choke me with it.
melt it into a metal used to coat my heart with so it can be a paperweight
or turn it into an oil to cover myself with and help me to self-immolate.
you've tried hard to shift the blame from me but i don't want to hear it,
thoughtful words cannot take back how badly you raped and broke my spirit.
you built me up just to ultimately push me harshly to the bottom,
i can see clearly just how much you care by how easily i've been forgotten.
i jump off of the tallest of buildings in my head each and every night
i thought we'd speak somewhat often, even if just to see if i'm alright.
only know i'm alive because i keep posting all of my writings
about how every tree and power pole all look far too inviting.
i am an emotional fucking child controlling the corpse of an adult
only knowing how to cope by making everything that much more difficult.
everyone is in on a joke that i'm yet to be told about
probably just laughing at me for being self-destructive and shutting everyone out.